tonight will be the first night where both my husband and I are away from E, he’s sleeping over at his aunt and uncles so we can go to the company christmas party. We’ve had times where I’m gone overnight or he’s gone overnight but there was always one of us present.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t kind of freaking out about it a little.
aclikeslater asked: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Thank you! :D
I woke up early this morning, as I often do, and padded downstairs to make a cup of hot cocoa. Normally I’d do coffee but this morning just felt like it needed hot cocoa.
I just so happened to have a little left from yesterday’s homemade batch, and while I was warming it in the microwave I stood there thinking about my life.
See, I turned 36 this morning - it’s not a significant number really. I mean, it’s not like 40, or 50, or 60. People don’t generally give much of a fig about turning 36. But I was sitting there while waiting for the cocoa to warm up and I was thinking about how different life is now in comparison to when I was 30.
I don’t remember much about turning 30, specifically, and I promise it’s not due to inebriation (I outgrew that a long time ago). But I distinctly remember that I felt like I wasn’t where I thought I would be. You know when you’re a kid and you say ‘when I grow up…”, well I found myself grown up but not feeling like I’d done anything of note. I’d gone to college, gotten a job, gotten married….everything I was supposed to do in the traditional sense, but I didn’t feel very…accomplished, at least in the way I thought I was supposed to.
Now at 36, I found myself looking around my living room - there’s toys piled in the bin next to the couch. There’s a sippy cup sitting on the coffee table and random puzzle parts strewn underneath. There’s a stack of Christmas cards waiting to go out sitting on my desk next to bricks of clay and a half-finished dragon. The floor needs to be cleaned and there’s dishes to be done, and I found myself thinking that maybe I didn’t feel satisfied at 30 because I wasn’t where I needed to be yet, and now I am.
It feels good to be me.